The Naivete of a New Author

When I finally completed my first novel, I just knew it was ready to meet the world. I'd already been a member of a writer's forum for months, and I knew all about querying literary agents, because that was all the forum focused on. Trade publishing was it, and the only "it". Hardly anyone there mentioned self-publishing, and if they did, they were smiled upon pityingly, like a clueless guy taking his very first step onto a dance floor. "Oh, look, isn't that cute!"

Thus, there was no question I would look for an agent, and no doubt in my mind that I'd snag one; in fact, they'd be fighting over who'd get to represent me.

After all, I'd written a whole novel! How many people did that? I was so sure of success, in fact, that I planned to buy a six-pack of Blue Moon ale to celebrate the debut of Once in a Blue Moon. 

I'm still thirsty, nine years later. 

It turns out that first a novel has to be good. Who knew? Once in a Blue Moon seemed "fine" to me, and dang it, I'd spent months writing it; almost a year. Apparently none of those agents took my time into consideration.

It's kind of fun to be naive. More fun than being jaded. Even after getting rejected by about 79 agents, I was sure it was them, not me. The only thing I did wrong was fail to scour their wishlists to find out what they were looking for, and it turned out my story didn't fit with their "wants". Next time around I would be much more selective in my querying.

Radio Crazy had crime and hidden identities; right up certain agents' alleys. While every agent was looking for a strong woman story, I homed in on those who mentioned the right keywords. This time about 129 agents rejected it.  I, of course, knew what was wrong ~ the backdrop of the story was country music (the MC worked as an all-night country radio disc jockey), and everyone knows that New York literary agents think country music is cornball.

So stupid of me.

The Apple was a family saga. Every women's fiction agent drools over family sagas, especially families with a dysfunctional member (check) and one who's shady (check). This novel was a can't-miss.  

Well, agents were simply hopeless. I just couldn't deal with them anymore, so I stopped. 

Every new novelist thinks their story is stupendous. They should think that. If they think their manuscript is crap, why even go on?

The key phrase here is "go on". It turns out that finishing a first draft is just step one. This is the time to start learning, and there is SO MUCH to learn. Number one is learning what makes for a compelling read. (Maybe that should come before the manuscript.) Even if the story is already written, learning all the important pieces will allow a writer to fix it. There are a lot of important pieces, as it turns out. But they involve work. 

Once in a Blue Moon was a first draft. Sure, I edited it for spelling and grammar, but that's all. 

After nine years of writing and learning, I've hit the "jaded" stage. I have much less faith in my work than I did then. (Isn't that supposed to go in the opposite direction?) Now in my editing, instead of being excited when I find a section I can improve upon, I feel defeated. I don't think, "Oh, this will make it so much better!" I instead wonder how many more flat, boring, poorly written passages I'm going to come across. And is it even worth it?

Bottom line, my advice to new writers is, hold onto that naivete as long as you can.

 

I Can't Write Historical Fiction, But...

I'm not an expert on any literary genre, but if I was to pick one to read, it would probably be historical fiction. There are certain time periods that interest me, although my barely-there knowledge of the genre tells me that the most common in historical fiction are either way, way back in time; centuries, to medieval times (not interested) and World War II (am interested).  

Technically, historical fiction should date back at least fifty years, which opens up many possibilities for a story more recent than the two periods I cited. 

I took a stab at writing a novella that started out in the sixties (nineteen sixties) with Find My Way Home, and I enjoyed writing about the culture of the times. The book certainly could have been better, though. Its drawback is the same drawback as with all my works ~ no compelling plot. Sabrina runs away from home at age fourteen and then things happen. That's the plot.

If I was to try again, which is unlikely, since I don't plan to write again, maybe I'd come up with a plot first. 

Oops, I forgot ~ Once in a Blue Moon, my first novel, had historical aspects, too. That story did go back to the WWII era, plus the nineteen seventies (it involved three generations). I remember doing research for it, but not an inordinate amount. Every book I've written has required research, but I'm not inclined to get bogged down in it. I'm not that dedicated, but kudos to those authors who are. I don't want to go to the library and pull out dusty reference books or search ancestry records. 

I would more likely write something involving the mid-sixties to mid-seventies, when my research would consist of searching my memory. (Easier!) The aspect of historical fiction I like is that I'm drawn to earlier times, especially when compared to today. And I like that things weren't so easy to do. If you were away from home and needed to make a phone call, the only things you'd most likely have in your pocket would be a rat-tail comb and a couple quarters; not a handy communications device. You'd need to either find a phone booth or beg some shopkeeper to let you use their phone, at which point they'd scowl at you and mutter something about "disrespectful kids these days".  

If one is going to write, they'd better choose a genre that interests them. I wonder now if I should have labeled those two titles historical fiction, but that would be quite a conceit, considering I didn't put the work into them that a true writer-researcher would do.

The thought of trying my hand at it is somewhat intriguing, though. That is, if I was going to write again. Which I'm not.  

Indie Authors Living in the Real World (Editing)

The reason editing my novel is such a difficult task is that I have to work with what I've got; that is, the story is the story. It's done; complete.

Of course I can make minor changes to it, and I have. If that wasn't the case, why would I put myself through such an agonizing exercise? But major changes are out of the question. I'm not averse to moving things around if that would improve the story, but I won't start writing it again.

A developmental editor on Reddit pointed users to a comprehensive checklist he'd drawn up for authors who edit their own novels. He certainly didn't need to do it, but there are those generous people who enjoy sharing what they know. I don't know how generous I am, but when I was employed as a trainer, I liked sharing tips and tricks I'd developed. I didn't believe in hoarding information. Really, what good is knowledge if you're just going to keep it to yourself?

I took a look at his guidelines and shook my head. I can't possibly do all the things he says are necessary (which they are, of course). Do some authors write that first draft aiming for it to be bad? If so, why? My first draft is as honed as I can make it. That could be why I'm a slower writer than most, but if I just wrote crap to begin with, where's the fun in that? Writing is not simply spilling out the plot. It's everything that goes along with that. Plus, I'm hardly worried that if I don't commit the plot to paper, I'll forget it. Do these people have short-term memory loss? 

I'm not here to denigrate plotters. Plotters are far more successful than discovery writers like me. But I wonder if those horrible first drafts stem from following an outline. "First comes this, then if I look at 2B, it says I need to write this." Then, "I'll fill all the other stuff in when I edit." Just typing that sentence made me nauseous. Go back and write a bunch more? No!

I've come to the realization that I wouldn't want to hire an editor, even if I could afford to. Is he/she going to tell me I need to rewrite my story? Well, that would be money down the drain, because I just wouldn't do it.

In many ways I'm old-fashioned, I guess. To me, writing is about getting it right; not about getting it wrong and then needing someone to tell me what I need to do to "make it work". That's like telling a clueless person how to fold laundry. Figure it out, dumbass!

Writing is a process. I don't skip around and I don't do stupid things like writing the ending first. I don't employ any of the tricks. I just work hard.

If I don't follow the professional checklist, so be it. 

 

The One Story You Have to Write

I'm not going to laugh over the many, many Reddit posters who've had a story rattling around in their brains for years, which now they just have to write. Okay, I am going to laugh. Just how original and awesome is this story? Because there really aren't any new stories; there are new ways to tell an old story, but everything has been done before. 

Aside from my amusement, I have to wonder just how obsessive these people are. One story? For years? Aren't you bored with it by now, before you've even written it? And by the way, why haven't you written it, or at least started writing it? Did you not have access to a keyboard or a pen?

I so cannot relate. When I sit down to start something new, I have no story; nothing. And I can't imagine only having one story in me. That wouldn't bode well for someone who wanted to take writing seriously, unless they plan to write a series of twenty books about that one singular premise. Of course, if it's been simmering in their brains for years, it must make for a really long narrative. 

I have no right to be judgy. Maybe it's easier to laugh at someone else's obsession than laugh at my own. But you know how a particular song, rarely a good one, gets lodged in your brain? An earworm? If I had one, and only one, story that's tortured me for years, I would have to get it out so it would stop torturing me. 

But that's just me.
 

"A Main Character Must Have Flaws"

It's easy to spot flaws in others; not so much in oneself. Thus, since I write in first person, "I" think I'm pretty okay. If I do something, there's a good reason for it; it's not my fault if no one gets that.

What I'm saying is, I have a really hard time assigning flaws to my main characters, and I wonder if that makes them unrelatable.

Overall, I worry about the depth of character of this novel's MC, or her lack thereof. I doubt that writing in close third would rectify that, because I'm still basically narrating the events. And she doesn't do much self-reflection. Is her personality too superficial to draw readers in? With a novella, it's easier to overcome that deficit. A novella doesn't require the reader to become overly invested in the main character, except for wondering how she'll get out of her current dilemma. There aren't enough words in a novella to explore the MC's internal struggles. With a novel, especially one as long as this one, if nobody wants to accompany the MC on her journey, they'll just shut the book and toss it aside.

It's not that Leah doesn't have flaws, but they're exasperating ones; probably not the kind that will endear her to anyone. She's indecisive, a follower, not great at solving her own problems. She lets events carry her along. 

Plus, at times she is a little too perfect. There are even a couple of places in the story in which a supporting character tells her how "special" or "priceless" she is. That makes even me sick. I suppose I was trying to demonstrate how much certain people in her life value her; it wasn't that I was bragging about how wonderful she is.

It's a little late now to go back and change her personality. And that's essentially the problem with the entire manuscript. I can't make major changes to it without having to rewrite it, and that's something I'm unwilling to do. Call me foolish; I no doubt am, but I invested so much time and creative energy in this story that I'm exhausted. I can't do it anymore. And I have a feeling that if I tried, I'd only make things worse. 

If Leah gets on readers' nerves, well, she is who she is. 

 

Editing is Not Getting Me Anywhere

I'm not going to stop editing my novel anytime soon. Well, maybe soon, because the things that are wrong with it are beyond my capability to fix. I can't put my finger on the problem, and not liking a particular "vibe" isn't informative. 

The things I can fix have been fixed, but they were niggling little issues, like overusing the word "perch" or "perched" too damn many times. "They perched on the dance floor." "I perched on my window seat." Everybody's perching all over the place. Most of these instances have been replaced, but who knows how many more there are? I'm not even halfway through my second readback. So, yes, I'll still find issues like that, but the overall story is there. 

My first readback ensured that nothing much was out of kilter. Definitely some scenes could've been handled better, but I can only do the best I can do.

The good news is, I've found my cover. Well, I didn't exactly find it; rather, I created it. I didn't even have to lay out money for a stock photo. My last resort in my search for the right image was Canva. I'd already searched its photo selections a while back, but came up empty. It could be that the site added more. 

What I do when searching any photo site is save every image I find even remotely possible; then I go back and ask myself what I was thinking and delete most of them. That leaves very few choices. The clincher that sealed my decision was the woman's expression. She's not smiling; her expression is contemplative. Oh, and she's holding a microphone, which all the others were, so it's clear the novel is about a singer. Plus her "look" matches the main character.

I went with the advice to mix the fonts, and the advice was gold. It brings the title to life; it's not static. It looks professional. Really, once I played around with the title font a bit, I knew immediately that I'd nailed the cover. I always say, "I'll know it when I see it", and I saw it.

Naturally, I couldn't create a cover without first having a title, and I do. "Running from Herself" is the one. The more I read it, the more sure I was. I suppose I should thank AI for it, but it only provided a spark. I don't remember if it spat out the word "her" or "run", but something spurred my creativity. 

So, I have a cover (free!) and a title (again free), and I've begun researching the creation of a paperback. I've always published ebooks only, and couldn't imagine why I would ever want a paperback, but now I think I do. I've still got a lot to learn about them, and that can wait until the novel is edited for good. 

My cover and my title are the first excitement I've felt in a while. It's nice to feel excited, because this process has been a real slog.

   

In Self-Publishing, Money Talks

I read one of those rare honest posts on Reddit tonight, in which an aspiring author stated, "I have no money". Hey, hi! It seems we have a lot in common!

The majority of posts on the self-publishing sub-Reddit consist of, "I have a thousand dollars to spend on my book cover, and I was wondering..." or "Does anyone know of a good developmental editor I can hire for $1,500?" "I spent almost five hundred dollars on ads so far; however..."

Then there's me. My budget for my book cover is approximately $9.00 to buy an image from iStock; that is, if I can even find one that's appropriate. I haven't found one yet. Developmental editor? Well, that's me. I'm completely incompetent, but I work for free! As for marketing, it's going to be difficult for me to decide between a twenty-dollar ad on LemmeSellYourBook or a different twenty-dollar ad over at GullibleAuthors dot com. 

While I'm not above buying a lottery ticket, I won't and can't go into debt for a service that is even less of a sure thing. And thus, I'm dooming my novel before it's even published. No, a fancy cover doesn't guarantee success, but it will at least get eyes on the book. My homemade covers are "fine"; not sparkly, not intriguing. They're vanilla. The best thing I can say about them is that they exist.

Marketing simply must be done, if an author wants to compete with the approximately one zillion other self-published books on Amazon. I noted in a previous post that the only people who've read any of my books were ARC readers, and I managed to round up very few of those. But at least it cost me nothing to get them.

There's no built-in market for my books. While some can slap an awful romance novel up on Amazon, do no advertising and still rake in a bushel of cash, I don't have that luxury. 

I once went hog wild purchasing ads for one of my novellas ~ maybe it was Lies and Love; can't remember ~ and by "hog wild", I believe I spent a total of $120.00. I sold about six copies.

I also used to send out a newsletter. The service I used was free, so there was no risk involved, except for humiliation. I did manage to reap a lot of that. Even as I was composing my monthly "news", I cringed. I had no news. My newsletter was a debasing exercise. 

Publishing my current novel, if I ultimately decide to, will be...what's the word? Stupid? I hardly feel confident enough in it that I'm willing to even embrace any of the free options out there, such as ARC readers. Why even bother? To get some snarky review on Goodreads? 

I may publish it, because what else am I going to do with it? Store it on my hard drive? It's a wash either way. But I can't afford to pay for success.