Making a Mess of Things (The Writing Saga Continues)

I ended my previous writing session just before a pivotal scene. I needed time to think about how to give it the right amount of tension. Needless to say, I never spent one second thinking about it. So, here I sat yesterday, staring at the screen, endeavoring to devise a good lead-up. I seriously spent almost an hour considering how to write it.

Tension? When I was done, the thing read like a toaster instruction manual. Except at least with the manual, one can avoid the tension of sticking a fork in the slot. Maybe because I knew what would happen (just now how, exactly), the writing fun never commenced. I've posted before about my distaste with outlining. To me, following an outline is akin to taking dictation. If I can't surprise myself, the project quickly turns boring. 

Then, to make matters worse, I somehow had to join this scene with one I'd already written (because I'd realized that the story had a boulder-sized hole). I haven't re-read it, but I have a strong suspicion that the connection didn't take.

Nevertheless, I soldiered on. The big dramatic night scene came together as a series of onomatopoeia ~ crunch, crack, boom. It was like describing someone eating a bowl of Rice Krispies during a thunderstorm.

What is wrong with me??

Oh, and then, I decided that after her home was essentially destroyed, as well as her car, she'd take off walking, barefoot because she'd left her shoes inside, and phoneless, for the same reason. In the middle of the night, down a deserted highway. 

And that's where I left it. 

It's pure junk. 

At this point I don't even know that I'll carry on. I can't "get" this story. Apparently it's uninteresting. I've mentioned this before, but with all my other books, one scene followed another seamlessly. I barely even had to consider where to go next. Now I'm spinning in circles, making little progress for the time I'm investing. 

On the plus side, it's definitely wordy. They just happen to be bad words.

If I, through some miracle, manage to pull this off, it will be a wondrous feat. Of course, I said the same thing about reworking a full-length novel into a novella, and look how that worked out. (No, don't look.)

I always assumed that a writer's proficiency improved with each subsequent work. I seem to be going in the exact opposite direction.