Oh, Goodie

It's the first of the month, and you know what that means. Yes, my author newsletter will hit subscribers' inboxes today. When I began this endeavor in January I was excited. Now it feels like a slog; another item to cross off my to-do list. All the more reason to consider discontinuing it.

And it's pretty clear from my latest content that my heart just isn't in it. In previous letters I began with some sort of greeting ~ just a couple sentences to, I suppose, humanize what is essentially a marketing tool. This month's greeting is, "Welcome Spring!" (Ehh, I really have nothing more to say.) 

I did manage to gain a few more subscribers as a result of my Voracious Readers Only promo, for which ARC readers were required to subscribe. At least these people are actually fans of my genre. On the other hand, only one of those twenty people bothered to write a review, so I'm left to conclude that the other nineteen didn't like my book. Why wouldn't they cancel their newsletter subscription?

I've tried almost all the suggestions for content that I found online, and none of them struck a chord:

• Giveaways ~ No one wanted a free book.
• Write about a topic I'm an expert in ~ Did that, and it even tied in with the setting of my latest book. I don't know if anyone even read it, but I'm guessing they didn't.
• Include a recipe ~ That was a desperation move. No clue if anyone tried the recipe out. I certainly didn't.
• Include a quiz ~ I did that this time. I'm not expecting any participation.
• Recommend similar works ~ Nope. Let those authors do their own damn newsletter. I don't see them pushing my books.

I used to do monthly employee newsletters as part of my job (I initiated that). What I learned was, the primary content anyone bothered to read was the "Do You Know This Person?" article, where I would ask a random employee twenty questions in advance and then publish their responses. The first person to correctly guess the person won a prize. Most of the rest was summarily ignored. Obviously that wouldn't work with a group of strangers.

I would also, from time to time, publish quizzes, but usually about music or TV, with multiple choice answers, one of the choices being something completely outlandish and amusing. I enjoyed that, because my made-up answers made me laugh. Again, the most correct answers resulted in a prize. The prizes were purchased from my "Fun Committee's" coffers, and they were cheap items, but people vied to win them. Unlike my books, apparently. I suppose I could incorporate something like that, but it would be rather off-topic.

Another frequent article listed the weirdest "holidays" occurring in that particular month, with a short commentary from me (that I least I found amusing). Again, I could do that, but I'm an author, not a stand-up comedian. 

The employee newsletter was a morale booster, not a marketing tool. Completely different purposes.

Maybe my problem with this project is that I'm not being myself. I'm trying to portray myself as AN AUTHOR. You know, super-serious and polished. I'm neither of those things. I find myself hating the content, because it's so fake. 

Maybe next time, if there is a next time, I'll do things that I enjoy. It couldn't possibly decrease my already non-existent engagement.