Do You Tell People That You're A Writer?

It never once occurred to me to tell people that I'm a published writer. I can't even imagine doing so. It appears, though, that I'm in the minority. I've read lots of Reddit posts in which indie authors lament that their family members haven't read their books; or that the only people who leave Amazon reviews are family and friends, et cetera. One must have a healthy ego to even acknowledge to the people in your life that you've self-published. 

I specifically chose a pen name because I don't want to be found. We all have two groups of people in our circle: those who want to tell you how "great" your book is, even though they don't believe it, and those who laugh behind your back at how sucky it is. I don't know which is worse. I'm well aware of the quality or lack thereof of my writings and I don't want to be gaslit. It's demeaning. On the other hand, I don't want to be the subject of ridicule. It just makes more sense to stay off the grid.

I once made the mistake of answering the question of what I'd "been up to lately" by saying I was writing a novel. Of course, everyone says they're writing a novel, so that's not out of the ordinary, but I was embarrassed by my outburst. Now would that person expect to read it? Fortunately, the topic didn't come up again for a couple of years, when the same individual asked how my novel was coming. By then I'd probably published five or six novels and novellas, but I gave a noncommittal response and the subject was dropped. I preferred that they assumed I'd abandoned it, like most would-be writers ultimately do.

The other minefield is the assumption that your novel reflects your personal life. Because, you know, there's no such thing as imagination. I dealt with this issue to a degree when I was writing songs. Songs are actually just little teeny novels, but I sometimes got the "Oh, is that how you really feel?" or "Well, what does that say about our relationship?" It doesn't say anything! It's fiction! Contrary to how most songwriters try to bullshit that their song has a "deep, personal meaning", they're just songs. I could dash off one right now in about ten minutes, and believe me, I'm not currently pondering any of my life's circumstances. And call me cuckoo, but I doubt that Hoyt Axton had a good friend that was a bullfrog.

Some authors who use pen names do so because of the genre they write in, but it's certainly not that I'm ashamed of writing women's fiction ~ it's not romance, for God's sake ~ and I don't write erotica. I like living in my own little world, and I feel no need to share it with anyone.

Overall, it's far easier and less fraught to remain anonymous. And if someone asks what I've been up to, I'll just go with "watching reruns of The Office".