I Never Thought Anyone Would Buy It

 

The shock of anyone actually purchasing my book of essays still hasn't worn off. I actually scrolled over to the "Look Inside" feature on Amazon to try to figure out why. 

You see, if I'd thought anyone would purchase a copy, I would have been much more discerning. It's not that I didn't consider my essays passable when I was compiling them, but since they emanated from blog posts, I was used to only pleasing myself. I am now blushing with the realization that someone thought they were getting some kind of authoritative thesis. I think labeling a book "essays" immediately confers a measure of gravity. It was just supposed to be fun!

If any of those buyers possess a modicum of mercy, they'll refrain from leaving a review. Of course, they probably stopped reading after the first essay (Please don't say that in a review, either!) Ah well, I've only ever gotten one review throughout my publishing career, so I'm probably worrying over nothing. 

But, damn! I read the entirety of the "Look Inside" and I thought, what the hell is this? And what moron thought this would make a good book? Didn't the buyers take a gander at the preview? Maybe they thought it would get better. (Rereading it, I noticed that I typed "phonograph" as "photograph. That should have been a clue. I've just now hastily fixed that.)

I would go back and re-read the whole thing, but now I'm too mortified. Maybe it does get better? It couldn't possibly get worse. Could it?

Well, lesson learned. Even though I never had any intention of issuing another like it. I guess the lesson must be...even self-published books need standards. Not that I've sampled any other indie author's wares, so I can't be certain. Maybe most of them are crap, too.

I just realized this is the worst possible post to "promote" my book. So I'm not linking to it here. (You know where to find it.) 

On a brighter note, I also read the preview of my novella collection, Finding Me, and I was delightfully surprised. I wanted to keep reading after the preview ended (I haven't ~ yet). That is some fine writing. Tight; advances the storyline; made me want to know what would happen next.

You see, I barely remember my books. Sure, if you asked me what So-And-So is about, I could give you an overview. But I don't know if they're all good or if only some of them are good. I know at least (as of yesterday) that New Kaitlyn is good. That was the preview I read. 

Therefore, second lesson learned ~ stick with what you do best. That still hasn't convinced me to resume writing. I'm not sure what it will take. Most likely supreme boredom.

So, there you go ~ warts and all. This is where I come to spill my guts, and I'm not going to give myself a pass.