My First Novel Is So Precious (Finding Your Voice)

Having completed all my daily tasks, I decided to tackle reformatting my first two novels. Oh, goodness ~ my first novel was truly "something". The first thing that jumped out at me was that it was written in third person. I haven't done that in years. There was a time when I couldn't fathom why anyone would write in first person; now I can't imagine doing anything but. 

Bear in mind that when I wrote Once in a Blue Moon, I knew absolutely nothing about writing. I had a vague premise in mind, but I'd hardly thought it through. I only wanted to prove to myself that I could write a complete novel. And honestly, it was trial by fire. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. I'm thinking the novel itself is pretty bad (I've only gotten to Chapter 5 so far), but it's a historical document to me ~ a testament to how far a writer can go if they only keep trying. 

I remember struggling with every aspect of that story ~ how would I ever be able to reach that consecrated word count in order to submit it to an agent? I didn't know about subplots, so I instead combined three women's stories into one novel. (I still think subplots are bullshit.)

I'm only scanning for formatting issues and not actually reading the thing, but the parts that involuntarily jumped out at me can only be described as "precious". So sickeningly sweet. And the weird part is, I'm not that way at all! You know me; I'm a cynic. I don't remember writing it with the intention of impressing someone who wasn't me, but the writing certainly isn't to my taste. The characters are far too innocent ~ naive ~ especially the main character. It's a wonder she was even able to navigate life. I can't put myself in that mindset now; it was written so long ago, but it may boil down to the fact that I didn't trust, or hadn't yet developed, my own voice. Voice is something that takes time, and confidence. I didn't even begin to develop my voice until my third novel. On a writing forum I used to visit newbies would ask what "voice" is. I never once read a straightforward response. The members would try to top one another with their esoteric interpretations, when what voice means is "write like yourself". 

Re-reading one's first effort is eye-opening. While I've been hard on myself for that first novel, what I really need to do is congratulate myself for coming so far.