Unpublished

I decided to tackle reformatting my second novel today.

It's not good.

Whereas my first novel was almost too naively sweet, this one is horribly cynical. I didn't get past the first chapter without that fact smacking me upside the head. No wonder the one agent request I got for it turned out so badly.  

It's not that the main character doesn't have a really good reason for being cynical, a real hard-ass; but that's not revealed until later ~ someone had tried to murder her, after all, and she'd clawed her way back to a semblance of a normal life. A reader not knowing that important piece, however, will be turned off by the MC's snarky comebacks and her lashing out for no discernible reason. 

Then there are the flashbacks. LONG, long flashbacks. 

Not to mention the (now) out-of-date references. 

It's a mess. I only got to Chapter 5 before I realized it would take a complete tearing apart and piecing back together to make it work, and I don't think it's worth doing. The bare bones of the story are fine ~ just "fine"; not great. Told better, it still wouldn't have been great, but perhaps good. 

I unpublished it and removed any trace of it from my website. Maybe one day I'll revisit it, but I probably won't. I deduce that I was in a certain state of mind when I wrote it, and I'm not there anymore. There's always a possibility I could scavenge pieces of it for a different story ~ that's probably doubtful, too. I like moving on.

It's strange that I remember it being much better than it is in reality. Maybe that's because I toiled so hard and long on it. I won't say it was a useless exercise. I learn from every experience, good and bad. With this novel, I certainly learned what NOT to do. 

In my defense, I will say that novel writing is not my forte. I added things that shouldn't have been added. Quantity does not equal quality. In my case it destroyed quality. 

Maybe every successful writer started out like this. The weird thing is, my first novel was better. Also not great, but better. And to think I wasted so much time on this one...

Sometimes it's wise to take a look back. This look back saved me from potential embarrassment.