Book Launch After-Party

It was inevitable, I suppose. There's always a letdown after a big event. You spend weeks anticipating that one glorious day and suddenly it's over.

My launch party guests (my cat) went to bed early, but in her defense she didn't feel that all the fuss was worth disrupting her 23-hour daily nap. As for me (the other attendee), I wasn't quite ready to let all the good vibes simply fade away, so I thought I'd sit down and revel in my launch-day sales. 

Wait, what? No sales? That can't be right. After all that build-up? 

Surely my BookBub ad was a success, though. Hmmm, zero clicks? Well, that's just peachy. And I plowed through my entire budget the first day. I bet those second-day browsers would've snatched it up. 

What kind of launch party was this? The only high point is that I managed to clear out the stale snack items in my pantry. My cat didn't partake, but I drowned my sorrows in a frosted strawberry Pop Tart and a snifter of chocolate milk. (Pro Tip: add the Nestle Quik first if you want it to dissolve.)  

I have no choice but to believe my sales reports and ad results are lying to me. That happens when there is a lot of author envy floating around the web. No one is more competitive and brutal as indie writers. I never thought they'd stoop so low as to bribe KDP and the book promo sites, but there it is. It's the only plausible explanation. 

Well, guess what, haters ~ I'm not stopping. I'll write another book, then another; and sure, they won't sell, either, but...there's a point in there somewhere.

One day you'll all say, "Ooh, have you heard about April Tompkins?" and everyone will shake their heads. Someone will ask if that's the girl on the insurance commercial. Then someone else will argue that, no, April is the Morton Salt girl with the umbrella, because April showers and stuff. A huge scuffle will ensue.

And that's what happens when everyone fights over me.

You're welcome.