Freedom of Writing

Yesterday, July 4, I declared my writing freedom, and my session could not have gone better. Some writing days are disappointing; I've spent hours in front of the screen and perhaps managed to pen two long paragraphs. I was like fireworks exploding yesterday. And the display was really pretty. 

Writers have distinct personalities. While some might thrive under expectations, I'm paralyzed by them. Admittedly, worrying about readers' reactions is a hard habit to break. I found myself doing that a couple of times yesterday, but I swiftly chastised myself and continued carrying on. In fact, I probably wrote the exact opposite of what was expected. "Oh, they won't like this? Then, let's do it!" I can be pigheaded. 

When I began revising Second Chance, I had a direct path in mind. In essence, there'd be some bumps along the way, but my main character would eventually find true happiness and would stay in town forever. That's what readers would expect. The reaction, or more precisely, the lack of reaction to Inn Dreams was my final straw. The two reviews I read (I have more that I haven't read) struck me as patronizing; like the reviewer was struggling for something positive to say. While I appreciate nice people, I neither need nor want anyone's pity. While I didn't set out to write a formulaic story, I suppose it couldn't be helped. I operated on logic. Well, what's the most logical thing that can happen next? While I threw in two red herrings, they most likely read as such. Had I been adventuresome, I would have revealed, say, the MC's fiance as the villain. (I wouldn't have; not because of readers, but because I personally wouldn't have liked that twist.) But the point remains; the story was too predictable.

So yesterday I'd already decided there would be no "happily ever after". Damn, I'm not writing romance! There'll probably be a "happy" of some sort at the end, because I don't care for depressing conclusions, but nope ~ what the (hypothetical) reader is waiting for isn't going to happen. 

My other big revelation that I blogged about yesterday was that I can write as many words as I please. I can flesh out the story and chug along some side roads. Thus, while MC was going to turn down her offer and stay in town (and live happily ever after), instead she impulsively accepts. And now she's no longer in Chance, which opens up a whole other world for me to write. And, boy is she torn! While she's acquiesced, it's plain she absolutely hates it. That's turned her rather difficult when dealing with the powers-that-be, and I love it. She's an actual person! Let's just say that her new career isn't starting off with a bang. She's not dumb; she knows she's just made some important enemies, but she can't help herself. Her every neuron is telling her to go back; go home, but she can't. She's fighting a losing battle with herself.

Granted, reading the story in its entirety leads one into a zig-zag of worlds. She starts off in a small town, moves to an even smaller town, and now to the big city. It could be a bit disorienting. I don't care. It's going to be the story I want to write, and I still don't know what's going to happen in the end.

And it's a challenge. I know this much about the music business, and I don't want to come off as a delusional fool, so I'm researching and then filling in the blanks with a bunch of "supposing". I suppose this could happen. My best bet is to not get too specific. As is, I've never been to Nashville, either, though I dreamed about going there since I was around sixteen. Luckily there's plenty about the city to glean online (unlike with the music business). I can do it.

My new freedom feels wonderful. Knowing that no one will read Second Chance makes me even more excited to write it. Counter-intuitive? I guess you'd have to be me to understand. I want to be a good writer. I can't be a good writer if I care too much about what people will think. Someone posed a question on Reddit the other day: Do you care more about selling, or about making a connection with the few readers you have? Wrong question. I care most about being proud of myself. And growing. If I'm the only person who reads it, as long as it pleases me, that's my success.