Unwinnable

When I was querying my second novel, I was either ignored or the recipient of canned rejections. Still, I persisted, like I did with each of my three novels, because what did I have to lose at that point? Having exhausted every potential agent, I dug up some small presses and tried those, too. One person actually requested the full manuscript! I was pumped! I mentally celebrated my book being accepted ~ finally.

When the woman at last responded, her rejection was devastating. Aside from everything else she found wrong with the manuscript, she told me my main character was unlikable. I hadn't intentionally written my protagonist to be hated; sure, she was jaded, but if you've barely escaped a killer's clutches, you might not have a rosy outlook on life, either. 

So, when I finally acknowledged the novel's shortcomings years later, I decided to revise it. Mainly I removed the extensive flashbacks, which were a rookie mistake; and I got rid of a couple of meaningless subplots. 

And I softened the main character. 

She still occasionally blurted out things that were cutting, but she immediately apologized and transitioned to "sweet". I really hated it. But if unlikability was the issue, well, I solved it.

Now, with Inn Dreams, the Goodreads reviews are saying my character has too rosy of an outlook, is juvenile in her optimism, is annoying in her naivete. 

Which is it, people? What do you want?

Apparently there's a fine line between hateful and cloying, and I can't find the line. My perception of my own characters is so far off the mark, I can't do anything but throw up my hands. My own criticism has always been that my MC's are rather blank slates; reactors to other people, rather than drivers of the story.

But you know what? No matter how many crappy reviews I get, I'll keep writing my way. If the reviewers' intent was to tank Inn Dreams, they succeeded! Awfully big talk for people who got the book for free. They could have just stopped reading if it annoyed them so much.

I'm fine with a critical review that tries to be constructive. What I'm not fine with is people who are mean just to be mean. Or to call attention to themselves. They're the unlikable characters.

I've been so upset by one particular review (one that insinuated I basically wrote the book using a thesaurus) that I contemplated deleting my Goodreads account all together, but it seems that isn't an option. So I guess I just won't go there anymore. 

I've had a hard couple of days. It's not fun being attacked. I'll probably get over it eventually, but people need to understand their words can be hurtful. Maybe that's what some of them want.