Half-heartedly, I began listening to a readback of my novel yesterday, and I didn't get far, because almost everything I heard sounded "wrong". Either a sentence was too abrupt, or I'd used a variation of the same word twice (e.g., "visit" and "visiting") in the same sentence, or a piece of dialogue sounded forced. Some of that could be attributed to the way "she" is narrating it, but I think much of it boils down to bad or impatient choices on my part.
Mind you, I only made it through about one page before I had to start making changes. This is my second go-round of listening, so I should have picked up on those things the first time, but after a long listening session, a person tends to start tuning out.
(I will say that my narrator delivers the dialogue lines quite blandly. Those exchanges are much more dramatic in my head.)
An offhand remark I heard yesterday got me to thinking about this novel. The person compared something boring to, "watching a drama without the drama." It could be that my story is more like a soap opera. It just keeps going, day after day, with a few peaks, but mostly a lot of ordinary scenes that may or may not be leading to something exciting, but usually not. One may ask, what were you thinking when you wrote this? I don't know; I don't believe I was thinking.
I was struck by a few reviews of Inn Dreams that mentioned its lack of depth (my words). I always have to add the caveat that it was a novella, not a novel; nevertheless, as with most criticism, I set out to prove that I am capable of resetting my course. So I went overboard with this novel by writing every detail of the main character's journey. Unfortunately, as it turns out, not every detail is interesting. Just like in a soap opera, little mini-events happen, sort of interesting for what they are, but they don't lead to a bigger truth; or if they do, that bigger truth takes a long time to get to. I did have a certain mindset in writing them ~ to show how miserable MC is in her new life. But I doubt that misery is a topic readers enjoy exploring.
This leaves me at a crossroads. I've got plenty of leeway to cut scenes (the thing is over 100,000 words, after all), but doing so will hurt. I've been involved in MC's life for so long, it seems wrong to cut out pieces of it. (I think this only resonates with fellow writers.)
An editor would most definitely tell me to do it, but I can't afford an editor and I can't figure out on my own what should stay and what needs to go. Even a beta reader could at least mark a section as "boring", which would be a huge help. I don't have beta readers, either, and I have no clue how to find any. (Well, I probably do, but the thought of having someone tear apart my work is scary.)
Speaking of beta readers, I don't know how some writers have so much self-confidence. They actually seek out beta readers, so they must feel their story is pretty top-notch to begin with. Or they have iron-clad egos. My modus operandi has always been, publish the book and hope for the best. In one editing video I watched, the host said she "couldn't wait to ship her book off to beta readers". What? Is she a masochist?
Right now I'm wavering between trunking this story and plunging ahead and publishing it. I could go either way. It was a lot of damn work to write, so there's that. And a lot of time; months. It kills me to think I wasted all that time.
I'm not ready to make a decision. I'll keep plowing through the second reading; keep making little changes; keep hoping it's better than I think it is.
Blind hope rarely works out, though.
No comments:
Post a Comment