Thursday, March 14, 2024

Burnout?


My enthusiasm for writing has taken a nosedive. While I did revise the opening to my new story yesterday, I'm not all that interested. Right now it feels like I'm doing it just to do it.

I don't know how to move past this feeling. I don't want to stop writing (for many reasons), but I'm burnt out. It might be the sameness of it all, which is difficult to avoid. I can't write in a different genre because I know nothing about those genres and I'm not interested in learning. Plus, I believe it's possible to write to a genre expectation and still produce a good story. It is about the story, after all. 

I assumed that starting something new would be a palate cleanser after struggling to rework my failed second novel, an enterprise that in hindsight served no good purpose. Instead it rather deflated me. Perhaps the process bored me so much that I'm paralyzed trying to write a new, interesting story. And truthfully, that reworked manuscript still isn't very good. I wasted a bunch of time and psychic energy trying to resuscitate the dead.

The problem with this new story is that it's inert. Nothing much is happening, at least nothing interesting. I do understand that it's only in the beginning stages, but to maintain reader interest something has to happen, and quick. That's where I'm stuck. My first stab was awful, but the second is only centimeters better. 

But, no, I'm not going to abandon it for something new. Why? That "something new" wouldn't be an improvement. I'm out of ideas.

One problem that immediately jumps out at me is that I'm still in "novel mode". The novel I reworked contains a lot of narrative, which doesn't jibe with a novella's purpose. A novella needs to get to the point. It doesn't have the luxury of meandering.

I'm not a believer in stepping away for a while. Problems need tackling. Stepping away, for me, is akin to quitting. I know I wouldn't return to it, because that's just how I am.

I'll give it a read-through again today. Maybe a light bulb will go off in my head. Maybe I'll see where I'm going wrong. 

I was semi-interested yesterday when I was in writing mode, but rehashing it in my mind today leaves me weary. And if I'm bored with it, imagine how a reader would feel.

Optimism is my current preference. I may just be too hard on myself. I have to remember that few people could even get as far as I already have. 

Time will tell if I'm onto something or if I'm wasting my time. 

 

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