Disheartened

I was really excited to finish my novella at last. I'd accomplished what I set out to do, which was expand a story that would more rightfully be called a "novelette". And expand it I did. I doubled the word count. Numbers aside, it turned out to be an interesting story, and my writing is probably my best ever. 

Anyone who's ever uploaded a book to KDP knows that feeling of euphoria. You did it. You created something new, something different from anything any other writer has written. You're excited to have people read it. You admire your book cover when it appears on Amazon and ponder the possibilities.

And now I can't even give it away.

What am I doing wrong? I tried my best to find the best, most successful sites for promoting. I degraded myself by asking for ARC readers (I hate putting myself out there). I even went back to the social media sites I abhor just to beg for readers (but in a positive, upbeat way). My one newsletter subscriber who was so psyched to get an ARC that she emailed me twice hasn't even responded. Maybe I'm invisible and I don't realize it.  

Now I'm faced with a decision of whether to pay for another ARC hosting site. I don't want to do it, but I feel trapped, like I have to do it now. It's either that or give up and my book will languish. I've tried to compare BookFunnel and StoryOrigin, and from what I can tell, the differences are minimal, while their pricing is essentially the same. Apparently both tout newsletter swaps and things like group promos, which I care nothing about. I'm solo; I don't want to "interface" with other authors. Ooh, but you'll get so many more newsletter subscribers! Well, the ones I have now are useless. I just want to sell books. One of the sites even spells out how one can damage their reputation by not being a good group booster. What? Leave me alone! I don't want to join your group in the first place! All I want are ARC readers and reviews. That's it. Well, also a service that'll find those readers and send out my ARCs. 

When I'm writing I often find it agonizing. I don't know where the story should go. I'm unable to express my thoughts prolifically. But marketing is far more agonizing than writing. 

I think I won't dwell on it any longer.